You have probably had the thought before, maybe during a holiday or a quiet moment: "I should really ask Mom and Dad about their life." It is a powerful impulse, driven by the desire to understand where you come from and to preserve stories that only they can tell. But the idea can also feel daunting. How do you start? What do you ask? This guide provides a simple, gentle plan for how to interview your parents, turning a daunting idea into a warm, rewarding experience.
What you will learn:
- How to propose the idea without any awkwardness.
- A simple 3-session plan to cover their entire life story.
- Gentle, respectful questions to start your first conversation.
- Tips to keep the momentum going after your first chat.
Why These Conversations Matter Now
The stories our parents carry are not just a collection of dates and facts; they are the foundation of our family's identity. A family history interview with your parents captures the triumphs, the heartbreaks, the funny mishaps, and the quiet moments of courage that shaped them and, in turn, shaped us.
When you take the time to have these conversations, you are doing more than just gathering information for a family tree. You are giving them the gift of being truly heard and showing them that their life and their legacy matter.
How to Propose the Idea (Without Making It Awkward)
One of the biggest hurdles is simply starting. You might worry they will find it strange or feel put on the spot. The key is to keep it low-pressure and frame it with love.
Find a reason that feels natural
Instead of saying "I want to formally interview you," tie it to a purpose that feels warm and collaborative.
Make it feel easy (not formal)
Use a reason that feels true to you. You could say you are doing it so the grandkids can know their story, as part of a family history project, or to create a special gift for their anniversary or a milestone birthday.
Send a low-pressure text or email
Start in 5 minutes
- Choose a simple, honest reason.
- Send a low-pressure text: "Hey Mom/Dad, I would love to set aside some time just to hear more about your life. Would you be open to chatting for an hour sometime next week?"
Address their potential hesitations upfront
Reassure them it is just a conversation, not a test. Say things like, "There are no right or wrong answers," and "If there is anything you do not want to talk about, we can skip it."
A Simple 3-Session Plan to Record Their Life Story
Trying to cover a whole life in one sitting is exhausting. By breaking it down into three focused sessions, you create space for deeper stories to emerge naturally.
Session 1: Childhood and Family Roots
Topics: where they were born, childhood homes, school days, family traditions, and what life was like when they were young.
Session 2: Adulthood, Love, and Turning Points
Topics: leaving home, their career journey, how they met their spouse, becoming a parent, significant challenges, and proudest achievements.
Session 3: Life Lessons and Legacy
Topics: core values, the most important lessons they have learned, and how they want to be remembered.
Essential Tools for a Smooth Conversation
- Your smartphone: Voice Memos (iPhone) or a similar app is perfect.
- A list of questions: Have 5-7 starter questions ready.
- A quiet, comfortable place: Choose a spot with minimal background noise.
- A glass of water: For you and for them.
Questions to Ask Your Parents (For Every Stage)
Good questions are open-ended - they invite stories, not just yes or no answers. Our question lists are a great place to start.
- Start gently: questions for your first conversation
- Go deeper: 100 questions to ask your parents
How to Keep the Momentum Going After Your First Talk
Checklist: After Your First Conversation
- Send a thank-you message.
- Share one highlight you learned.
- Schedule the next session while it is fresh.
- Capture photos and names mentioned.
What to Do With Your Parents' Stories
Once you have recorded these conversations, you have a treasure trove of family history. The final step is figuring out how to preserve parents' stories by turning those audio files into something that can be shared and cherished for years to come.
Transcribe the audio
Typing out the conversations creates a written record.
Organize stories by theme or timeline
Once transcribed, arrange stories by life stage or themes.
Create a family biography book
Compile the stories into a beautiful book. Explore how to create a family biography.